BAM! With a title like that, how could you NOT read this article, right?  I apologize if your work computer has blocked my site.  If it hasn’t yet, I submit to your proxy server a picture of my penis:

Straight-up penis skin, baby! (not baby penis, despite it's size...)

You’d be surprised by some of the weird shit I Google.  Or not.  Whatever.  I’m not paid to surprise you so frankly, I could care less.  However, without fail I will wind up on someone’s blog and after reading the post, I will read the comments.  Occasionally the comments have useful feedback, corrections, anecdotes, testimonials, or even the phone number to a tranny down at Waikiki that said she’d meet me but didn’t because she thought I was a cop because I asked too many questions because I like to play danger safely and that cost me half a tank of gas BUT I DIGRESS…

Anyway, I was on a blog about some guy who shaves with extra virgin olive oil.  I was intrigued.  I’ve been looking for a way to simplify and revamp my hygiene regiment to be more organic and natural.  It was a good article.  But the comments made it great.  So, without further adieu…

Very good journey and experience!

Okay.  A little vague but perhaps still relevant…

nice share, good article, very usefull for me…thank you

Hmm.  Pretty vague AND a misspelled “useful?”

really appreciate YOU — thanks a lot!

Uh, stalker much?  Why the emphasis on “you?”

One again, your articles is very good.thank you!very much

Notice the punctuation and in particular, the punctuation in between “you” and “very.”  I mean, sometimes I type too fast and put one or two letters in the wrong order, but not entire concepts… Okay, sometimes I even put entire wrong order!concepts in the

Thanks for good information that comes out to read.

This is where it starts to get good.  I mean, was it necessary to write “that comes out to read?”  That’s like getting food at a restaurant and telling the waiter, “Thanks for the food that you gave me that I can eat.”  I guess if a majority of the food was burnt or spoiled, you may say it sarcastically…

A thing of beauty is a joy forever

This is not even… This has nothing to do with the article.  Plus the premise is flawed.  Even beautiful flowers die eventually.

Very inspiring place of levy.

Hmm.  I assume they meant to say “levity,” but instead I think perhaps they are trying to wage war?

In turn supplied by all the team is amazingly of usage expert all of us, Thanx to alllllll ….

I don’t even know about this one… When someone says “all,” they would elongate the “a” not the “ll.” This would look and sound weird.  Plus, who even elongates the word “all” anyway? I can’t think of a single instance where you would.  This is when I began to be suspicious…

This is the first time I comment on your site, but I’ve been keeping up with your work for a while now. I admire the passion with which you write the articles and dream that someday I can do the same. Love

Oooh! Whichever bot wrote this comment must have a human heart!!!

I like idea behind your post. I want to read more from you. Your thought process is unique and effective.

Thank you, fifth-grade teacher bot.  Your thought process, however, is commonplace and impotent.

This one is an inspiration personally to uncover out rather more associated to this subject. I need to confess your data extended my sentiments in addition to I’m going to right now take your feed to stay up to date on every coming blog posts you would possibly probably create. You might be worthy of thanks for a job perfectly carried out!

This one is my favorite: just look at all the syntax errors and mis-usage!!! Mmmm it’s creamy and delicious!  I mean, “I need to confess your data extended my sentiments…” PURE FUCKING GOLD.  I invite you to say this one out loud, with feeling.  It’ll tickle your chicken dick.

This blog is terrific. There’s often all the appropriate info at the suggestions of my fingers. Thank you and maintain up the superior work!

Question: What are the ‘suggestions of your fingers?”

Spot i’ll carry on with this write-up, I seriously believe this web site wants considerably more consideration. I’ll probably be once again to learn to read far more, many thanks that information.

Yo dawg, I heard you liked consideration.

Many thanks for developing the effort to discuss this, I feel strongly about this and like studying a great deal more on this subject. If feasible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating having a great deal much more info? It is very beneficial for me.

This bot is REALLY into shaving with olive oil.  So much so that he is requesting updates as the author gains expertise.  With all the effort needed to be developed to discuss this, perhaps we’ll see a whole series of articles by this man providing us with a “great deal” more information on this endlessly (apparently) deep subject.  You know, if it’s feasable.

 I’m impressed of , I need to say. Really not often do I encounter a blog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you have got hit the nail on the head. Your concept is outstanding; the difficulty is one thing that not sufficient people are speaking intelligently about. I’m very blissful that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for something regarding this.

This man is apparently BLISSFUL about this.  I mean, a good clean shave is nice and all, I’ll admit, but this guy has got hit the nail IN the head.

ZOMG Okay, I had a blast “writing” this.  Well, copying and pasting. Well, pointing and clicking.  Damn.  Nothing is real, is it?

Peace, y’all!

  1. C says:

    LOL. I friggin’ hate comment spam. On the plus side, its characteristically poor grammar does make it easy to spot and therefore easy to skip over.

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