Fresh Prince of Belair Theme Song In The Queen’s English

Posted: August 17, 2011 in Humor

by Christopher Hagan (

I thought this was absolutely brilliant.  Enjoy!

Verily, what I am about to tell you is a tale on the subject of the way in which my existence was thrown askew, quite rotated 180 degrees vertically if you will, and it would please me if would lend me a small amount of time and I assure you that I shall be but a moment, please take a vacant seat and I shall regale you with the tale and grand adventure of the events that lead me, the first born King’s Son in the township of Bel Air.

I was born, and therefore brought up, as was the custom, in the westernmost portion of Philadelphia, wherein the greatest allotment of time was spent on the recreational areas denoted for youthful children, adolescents, and young adults, resting, if not recuperating, in full enjoyment of my designated leisure time, participating in sport that revolved around a spherical, rubberized object is attempted to clear a netted hoop located behind a house of learned acquisition. These activities were halted, forthwith, when a few gentleman with the penchant for ne’erdowellism and whose intent was most grave begot a disturbance in the localized area at which I resided. I forced to take part in a singular transgression that resulted in fisticuffs and my maternal figure took on such a fright that she informed me that I was to be relocated to the residence of her siblings, again I must mention, in the township of Bel Air.

I sat upon a sound argument against this action for what seemed like a vast amount of time, but she parceled up my most precious possessions and was emphatic that I begin this journey. She then placed her lips upon my own, to denote my departure, and placed in my possession a voucher that granted travel, so I placed upon my ears my portable phonograph device and since no alternative was left to me, I shall strike the impending sojourn with the force granted by the sole of my foot.

I traveled in the elite class cabin as my journey commenced and must admit quite adamantly that the experience was none less than enjoyable, dare I say exquisite, as I partook of a beverage produced by pulping a fruit of the citrus variety, more specifically Citrus Sinensis, into a libation that I verily enjoyed from a champagne flute. As I did so, I reflected upon the living situation that I would soon be arriving to at my stated destination, and if my conceptualized ideas of the new lifestyle were similar hereto the situation at hand, then my displacement to a new land may not be as perilous and dreadful as I had once assumed.

However, conflicting information passed my deft ear telling of the people that reside in my destination are less casual with their actions, drinking the fermented extrusions of the Vitus vinifera, it donned upon me that this place may not actually be suitable for a gent that likens himself to an exceedingly rare genera of sub temperate feline, as I do in fact lay claim to, however, to be fair, I shall hold off on my judgement until I have been given proper time and personal exposure to discern this information for myself. With all this stated, I pray that the proper and necessary preparations have transpired in accordance of the impending arrival of the first born King’s Son of the township Bel Air.

As the sky-borne chariot again found it’s Earthen host accepting of return, and allowed myself to disembark , my vision met with a local appointed sheriff with my given name upon a placard, which urged in me the idea that I wished not to be incarcerated at this given time, having only just arrived, so I found my feet as expedient as heaven spent bolts of tremendous sound and fury bound in electrical discharge produced by the friction of dense, humid air upon the ground. Wherein I then proceeded to extort a simple call indicating to the coachmen that I desired their services, and when the vehicle in question halted nearby, it’s registration placards bore the letters which spelled out a word that could be contrived to mean either new or pleasurable aroma due to recent cleansing, as well as six sided chance pieces intended for games which, if one so chose, would be utilized in where monies could be wagered regarding the outcome of the expressed rolling of said objects, hung from the rear facing looking glass. Given my new surroundings , I might be lead to hypothetical state that this particular hired coach was exceedingly uncommon, but upon further thought decide to drop the entire matter , and the charged the gentleman at the helm to ferry me to my destination of Bel Air.

It twas near on to the clock striking either seven or possibly eight when at last the stead of my progenitor’s siblings did I yet arrive, when I disclosed to the coachman that I shall detestably detect his pungent aroma at some date, yet undefined, in the future. To which granted upon me the right to spy my newly acquired kingdom, which I expressed greater delight in my final arrival after such a long and arduous journey, to assume the large and ornate chair reserved for those of royal blood and linage, as well as the mantle given to the first born King’s Son of Bel Air.

  1. Sharon says:

    Yeah, this is the post that has officially made my day. Very well done.

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